1:04 a.m. again wide awake at the speed of sound bouncing off of the architecture of my own skull ideas ricochet then fizzle lack of passion borderline depression I write , because I know nobody is listening like, hello, my name is nathan I have a blessed life more potential than I know but I have to act. weighted down i sink lower darker, faster, harder silence silence silence I yearn for self destruction chaos at its best I write stream of conciousness because my words do not form true substance rambling is easier to release strategic writing is not in my bag of tricks. I just like to let the energy build and crumble over and over until it cannot be built again like opening a scar over and over until it consumes your being So hello again, it is nathan. I like to listen to music, practice martial arts when I can. happy moments are fleeting because of the life I chose I am playing god in my carreer who gave me this right? I have not earned it.... school is a joke red tape as far as the eye can see teachers that do not care, why should I? I do not want to rip the system apart...I just want to admire the beauty...but I must kill it Murder, science, profit music, murder profit crime , murder profit, murder murder, murder Where is the light? beyond what I can see? So far away I have mined my way down to a placwe where photons do not exist

demons

Nickels and Dimes
Quarters and Halves
Eighths and pounds
Giggles and laughs
Tracers and trails
Eyeballs and scales
Primos and rails
Swishers gone stale
Boomers are great
With the tea from the shake
Chron from the City
Of Angels and quake
Crank and the meth
Spoons to inject
Crack in the veins
At best equals death
Things fall apart
Blackened the heart
Blurred becomes art
You knew from the start
Life it consumes
Snowball monsoon
Coffin cocoon
Dustpan and broom
Windows are barred
Loved ones are scarred
Pawnshop guitars…
Dreams fallen far
Laughter has strayed
Giggles gone grey
60 an eighth
Demons get paid

For my vegan/raw/barefoot friends

The chicken was hatched

with his friend the cat

the master was greasy

mean slobbish and fat



The cat was a vegan

no chicken or fish

the bird and the feline

lived together in bliss



then came the day

the fat man would say

time for my dinner

plucked the chicken away



the cat was so sad

mourned the deceased

but laughed at the fat man

death by food borne disease



:)

why write?

i write to vent

to think about life

to ponder the meaning of many things

Interpretation of

My mind and spirit

into provisions for my psyche

my psyche...where to begin

unique , off center

off key or out of tune?

not the traditional

strung tune of

e a d g b e meets the 1 3 and five.

broken rhythms

obviously

syllables never seem to match perfect,

still my psyche...,

like the massive layer of saltwater we all know of,

we all know we don’t know

except what they tell us

i fade in and out as far as subjects

i think that...i think too much?

how does one gauge it?

by it i mean the amount of time

spent by another thinking

life seems mechanical

in general, the same

roosters crow at dawn

i hear them when

i wake

with the vanish of the stars

It’s so vast isn’t it?

the universe

or what they tell me it is?

but seriously

it is

vast and incomprehensible

if u think about,

your quantitative

qualities, physical ( as well as ego too i guess)

in respect to

everything else

including what you do and don't know

( sigh )

good ole calvin

knew how to have a good time

sledding, calvinball,

water baloons,

turned into a game called wallyball

Big mounds of snow graced

the hills trees

and driveways alike,

the snowmen were just as unique.

a little grotesque

but hobbes put it in perspective for the inquisitive mind

where does it end?

when do we stop thinking?

death maybe

maybe in death we think more

stuck

im a state of think

maybe that is the

ever so elusive

state of enlightenment

pure thought

crystal clear realizations

and calculated conclusions

mortal thoughts

generally,

sloppy and over analyzed

crude like

ancient hieroglyphics

however full of nutrients

thick and swelled

with thought , emotion, expression

ripe with existence

welcome to my world

you make me furious,
like nobody else can,
found buttons
i didn't know existed

now were stuck
within each other
within these walls
they will have stories to tell

late nights
muffled moans
broken by pillows
halted by traffic

we travel together
high speeds
no seat belts
consequences known

you are as good for me
as i am bad for you
also true
the reciprocal

we are fire
and forest
dried leaves
meets a curious mind
and a lighter

ive never seen sparks like these
strange colors
so cold
happy fourth of july

i keep writing because
im searching for solution
mabye for an extension
justification

knee deep in excavation
we both dig too deep
they say the answers
are on the surface

i didnt even look there
it was too obvious
for a brilliant mind
like ours ( insert laugh here)

so its 2.a.m
again eyes wide open
to prevent
a new days dawn.

writing,
until i see the sun