1:04 a.m. again wide awake at the speed of sound bouncing off of the architecture of my own skull ideas ricochet then fizzle lack of passion borderline depression I write , because I know nobody is listening like, hello, my name is nathan I have a blessed life more potential than I know but I have to act. weighted down i sink lower darker, faster, harder silence silence silence I yearn for self destruction chaos at its best I write stream of conciousness because my words do not form true substance rambling is easier to release strategic writing is not in my bag of tricks. I just like to let the energy build and crumble over and over until it cannot be built again like opening a scar over and over until it consumes your being So hello again, it is nathan. I like to listen to music, practice martial arts when I can. happy moments are fleeting because of the life I chose I am playing god in my carreer who gave me this right? I have not earned it.... school is a joke red tape as far as the eye can see teachers that do not care, why should I? I do not want to rip the system apart...I just want to admire the beauty...but I must kill it Murder, science, profit music, murder profit crime , murder profit, murder murder, murder Where is the light? beyond what I can see? So far away I have mined my way down to a placwe where photons do not exist